Total depression- the kind that makes you want to just give up. But I didn’t. I got help, but it took a long time. Things are looking up and I’m getting more involved. I’ve spent too much time not doing anything except hiding between book covers. Books aren’t demanding. They don’t ask to borrow money and not pay you back on payday. They don’t call and then proceed to tell how their life is sucky and not ask how I’m doing. They don’t make you feel unloved and useless. And it’s better to read a book than to try to eat the pain away. Been there, didn’t work. Weighed 200 pounds. Not any more.
I’m holding the line here. I have a long way to go. I’ve started by getting my surroundings in order – getting the house presentable, clearing weeds and invasive plants from what used to be my garden. I’ve got a few tomato and pepper plants in pots. Pots of flowers are on the front steps. I’ve mowed a few times. Everything looks good from the street.
I’ve showered more. I’m certain people who encounter me appreciate that. I’ve been eating more fresh stuff instead of frozen pizza. I wore myself out doing a screen printing project for the makerspace I belong to – 120 aprons and 90 tote bags as gifts for our members. Tough work to do alone in a week, but it was a last minute decision and everyone else works during the day.
After all that, I did a “State of the Union” type presentation to the membership. It went well in spite of a few technical difficulties and interruptions. One of our founders doesn’t quite understand that we know who she is and she doesn’t really need to remind us of the fact whenever she is present by interrupting.
I’ve fallen six times in the last month. No injuries to speak of, but a bit concerning. I’m being sent to the Geriatric Fall Clinic. Apparently, I now fall – see what I did here- into the Geriatric category. I didn’t notice. But now when I look, I can see that some old woman managed to swap bodies with me – gave me this wrinkly and painful one. This old body seems to fall down too much. I want my other one back.
That’s probably all the update you can take for now, so I’ll end here. As a friend used to say, “Rest and be kind.”
Sillytoes Crafts 