This is Stretchen DeTruth of CSX News. We have finally been given the go-ahead to reveal that Presidential Candidate, Donald J Trump and billionaire mogol, Elon Musk are on a mission in space to meet with a race of aliens called Stav-Ings. The aliens sent a message to Earth requesting to meet with our important people. The two ego-maniacs. Sorry. Strike that. The two self-important men…

…Hold on. Whoops. Can’t say that either.

The two men departed Earth under the cover of setting up a new type of communications satellite to communicate with the aliens. The alien ship has begun moving toward them. We eagerly await…

What’s that?

This just in….

Translators from NASA have decoded the aliens’ message. What? Can you repeat that?

Oh My God!!!

THE REAL MESSAGE FROM THE ALIENS SAYS “WE ARE STARVING. SEND MEAT!”